LailatAlQadr

i thought when i kissed you this would over and i thought when i kissed you i'd finally find peace but you're a cyclone with two eyes and both of them are watching me and im spinning spinning spinning spinning

i'm scared to lose my passion because it's the only fucking friend i have left. i'm scared to lose my sparks because fireworks aren't the only explosions in my mind. i'm scared i'll run out of words and the only thing left will be the taste of  a hollow tongue, falling apart. i might have social anxiety  a medical diagnosis, clean cut "it's not your fault" but every time my words  fail me, the sympathetic looks are replaced with a shuffle as i'm cut off from the group. i'm terrified of loneliness again; insanity is the price  to pay when the silence becomes so omnipresent you start to think you're deaf.  i'

there's a tremble in each breath you take absolute; final; shaky sea tides beneath us collapsing spluttering against irises. eyes sorry but sorry isn't good enough.

i wrap my arms around her waist miss the smell of red and pacific. she is the sea. i want to ride a wave into your eyes i see it in your sighs you want to go back to seven when we were more transparent than the tides.

there is a girl who sits in the corner of the class and pops pills like sugar cubes. she signs my year book with two words every time "stay strong." left me wondering about how she could possibly understand. and last year. the first time. i came back to school with two razor rashes down my wrists and she didn't hug me or tell me that i would be better. she told me my scars didn't make me beautiful.

I kissed a man who couldn't extinguish the fire on his lips. his name was Shakespeare and he was a hurricane.

taken down for improvement.

i keep thinking about day 1, you told me you were bouncing your leg because you knew i hated it. you wanted me to reach out and feel the same electricity you felt. i keep thinking about your sighs and your little whimpers. mumbling softly into my mouth. i miss your palm pressed against my fingers. smoothing the wrinkles in your wrist. i wish we were more than this. i want to think about your oceany hair and chestnuts, you didn't open your eyes this morning. i want to be infinite but i want to be whole. and you can't be either if you're not here.